| Mascot Madness- 4/5/07 What If…March Madness was Determined by Mascot Fights? As another NCAA Tournament draws to an end and I come close to (but ultimately fail at) winning pool money yet again, it seems appropriate to discuss the March Madness Highs’, Lows’, and in between. But I could care less really. Both of my bracket teams are out of tonight’s game and I can’t stand Florida or Ohio State. But as I sat there on Saturday night grumbling over UCLA and Georgetown’s pitiful performances, I thought to myself What If mascot fights determined the NCAA Tournament? Here is how I think it would have gone down: *The higher ranking team gets home-field advantage during the first round. After that, neutral territory. Opening Round Game Florida A&M Rattlers v. Niagara Purple Eagles Location: Neutral Site Niagara is a no-brainer in this match-up. First of all, many types of Eagles are known to eat such things as snakes, lizards, and small rodents. Secondly, the Purple Eagles would probably be drawn to the rattlesnake since its venom sacs give the rattlers a rather phallic shape. I’m just sayin’. Purple Eagle swoops down and grabs the Rattler. Winner: Niagara Midwest Region West Region East Region South Region If this in-depth analysis was received positively, then I shall continue with the second. Otherwise, screw you. |
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